I’m back eating LCHF – low-carb high-fat, aka keto again. For those who don’t know, 18 months ago I did a LCHF diet combined with heavy weight lifting. At the time I lost 9lb in 12 days which I kept off for over a year. Then I went on holiday to the US. The rest, like my waistline, was history and so I decided to go back on the plan for 12 days to reset things. It’s not easy (see my diary from last time I did it here). This time I haven’t felt as sick, but that doesn’t mean it’s plain sailing mentally – on which note I present to you….
18 Thoughts you only have when on a High Fat diet!
I promise that every one of these has genuinely gone through my head in the last week.
1) Does it count if I just lick the cake?
2) If I mash the avocado and cream cheese; that’s kind of guacamole. Guacamole is awesome. Winning.
3) I loathe you with every fibre of my being (upon seeing woman eating banana on the train)
4) Do I need mouthwash yet? I feel like I need mouthwash? How do I know if I need mouthwash? (Buys mouthwash)
5) Does mouthwash have carbs in?
6) I am eating food purely as fuel not for pleasure or reward. This is what naturally thin people do…..naturally thin people suck.
7) What do you mean I only lost 100gm overnight (raises fists to sky) “why, why are you punishing me?”
8) Eh? bacon has sugar in it? Why? Do pigs eat chocolate?
9) Mmmm, chocolate (gazes off into the distance for 10 minutes)
10) Before you start burning fat for fuel: My ipad is downstairs. I don’t have the energy to walk downstairs…..I’ll just stare at the ceiling. I’ll call it meditation.
11) After you start burning fat for fuel: Can we go for a walk? How about a run? What time is the gym open? What can I clean till then?
12) There’s an awful lot of pictures of carbs on twitter (unfollow, unfollow, unfollow)
13) Emmental. Why does it have holes?
14) Mmmm Pringle. I want that Pringle (said Pringle was on the pavement at the time)
15) Cheese mashed into scrambled eggs is amazing. I’m going to market this. I will call it Cheggs.
16) £15 for Ribeye. £15? Surely I get a whole cow for £15
17) I would sell my soul right now for an olive.
18) 7.5lb gone in seven days – this is the best diet EVER.
And it’s that last one that’ll keep me going (and probably thinking more slightly insane thoughts) for another 2.5lb.
Oh, and if number 5 is ringing a bell right now, then check out our guide to How to Beat Keto Flu and other Keto Side effects to find the solution to your mouthwash dilemma.
Claim to fame alert: not only have I done LCHF dieting a lot, I wrote a book on it with amazing trainer Zana Morris.And yes, the Cheggs recipe does appear within it*