The Thoughts of a Short Distance Runner

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There’s a brilliant post from Buzzfeed going round the internet at the moment – the 75 Thoughts Every Runner Has While Out For A Run. If you haven’t read it yet, you need to – it’s hilarious and very true. As someone who’s mind jumps about like a skittish pony when I’m running, I decide to attempt to take note of some of the thoughts I’d had while running this morning. Here’s a snapshot of those I remember….I’m a bit concerned

1) Right off we go – do I need a jacket? It’s chilly.

2) My knee hurts

3) Still hurting, should I stop?

4) Oh it’s alright now

5) Damn, I can’t stop

6) That’s a Cornetto wrapper – I haven’t had a Cornetto for ages

7) Don’t I run so I CAN eat Cornettos. I think I’ll have a Cornetto later.

8) Actually I guess I’m burning off the wine, beer, spag bol and 2 scoops of gelato I ate last night

9) Crap, that’s a lot of calories

10) Left or right?

11) Left is shorter

12) Left then

13) No don’t open the car door there

14) Oh FFS snog faster (taps foot and waits)

15) ‘I’m just a man, I’m not a hero’ – I finished marathon training to this song once. I don’t want to run a marathon again. Or do I?’

16) These Aldi shorts are really comfy

17) I still think they’re a bit see-through though

18) That’s a big drain hole – I bet it has rats

19)  Oh yes, yes, you’re running faster than me, overtake then smartarse

20) Before you go, are my shorts a bit see-through?

21) Downhill bit…….

22) Yorkshire Terrier alert…..does it look bitey?

23) I don’t like little dogs. They scare me. I’ll run over here a bit in case it’s bitey?

24) Phew….not bitey.

25) England does have pretty spring flowers.

26) ‘Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday’ – is this REALLY the worst song ever made. I quite like it.

27) Yay, it’s the end of my road……

28) I’ve still got 15 minutes to go.

29) Should have turned right (reverses route)

Seriously, no wonder I run so slowly with that lot going through my head, I must use up half my energy firing off neurons…..And I haven’t even touched on my thoughts on the weather, why there were so many bags of cement in peoples’ gardens right now and how many times I decided whether or not I needed the loo! So, are you a meditative runner or is your mind as erratic as mine?

Oh, and in case you haven’t seen it – here’s the buzzfeed post.…..’I am the swiftest God of all two-legged creatures’ makes me laugh every time I read it.

1 Comment

  1. belicovaa

    haha so true, as a runner-beginner i also “meditate” during my morning runs. You know, the usual reevaluation of life…

    Reply this thing on? Talk to me, it's lonely down here

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