I don’t normally read the Daily Telegraph – it’s one of those big papers that make me shouty as I try and fold them, but today I was researching something and I ended up on their website only to discover a fascinating article on nipple tattooing – now renamed as tittooing.
Long been used for women who have had to have their breasts reconstructed after cancer or breast reduction or to even out the look of asymmetrical breasts (the difference in size can be camouflaged if the nipple on the larger breast is made bigger), now, according to this report, it’s been given a new name – and used, by women who want to change their nipple colour because they don’t feel they are dark enough.
Now first up here, I’m thinking that maybe requiring such action could mean you’re overdoing things a teeny tad on the fake tan side of things – and maybe if you went a couple of shades lighter the bits on the end of your lady-lumps might develop added definition. But then I’m thinking hold up – is there a chart I’m not aware of? At some point in my past was I supposed to have sidled up to a cold bit of plastic to see how I measure up in terms of shading. A Dulux chart for D cups? The Farrow and Boobage shade chart? Dang, I didn’t get the invite.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with anyone doing anything to their body that makes them feel more confident. When I read the quotes from Michelle in the piece who had tittooing treatment done because of something that had bothered her since her teen years, I think “good on you, it’s bugged you, you’ve found a way to tackle it rather than letting it get you down. I wish you the best of luck.” If you look at the pictures of the work of someone like Karen Betts, who is renowned in working on cancer sufferers this area, you can see how much difference this practice could make to someone’s life.
But the thing that got me banging my head on my desk (and then tip-tappying away at the keyboard) was a line from a beautician in Essex who said that she was turning women away from tittooing treatment because they were coming in to have this done because their boyfriend wanted them to. At this point I made a noise somewhere along the lines of agggggghhhhhh.
Ladies of Liverpool, Essex, or anywhere else considering taking needles to your nipples, fine, do it if you want to. But do it for you. Not because some oik who quite frankly should be lucky he’s allowed within 10ft of your boobs thinks it’s a good idea. If you wouldn’t have his name tattooed on your body (you wouldn’t would you?), why have anything else he requests?
However, because the whole point of this blog is to be useful, not just ranty, also, please, please, please make sure that if you do decide to go for tittiooing whoever is wielding the needle is a medical tattooist – or a specialist in paramedical micropigmentation as it’s sometimes called – not someone more used to drawing daisies or dragons or, even worse, who bought a tattoo kit on ebay and has set up in a room in the back of a beauty salon. Yes, this is happening and I can see this particular service being a prime example of when it might occur – after all, thinks Unqualified Tattooing Betty, how hard can it be to draw a circle and colour it in? *
What to ask a Medical Tattooist.
Use the same rules as you would for plastic surgery. Ask where they trained – and how long the course took. Ask to see pictures of their past work. Find out how many times they’ve done this Make sure everything is clean and sterile- it’s not just clean needles you need, it’s clean pigments. Check that they are insured in case things go wrong. If they don’t ask a heap of medical questions walk out.
Ensure that it really is a semi-permanent dye that they are using – not proper tattoo ink (results last about two years). And check there’s anaesthetic cream involved – this may not be an area you want to attack without pain relief. If there’s anything else you want to know, ask it. If you don’t get the answers you want, walk away.
And once again, only ever, ever, ever do it for you. And yes, while I know there’s a whole debate on where this idea has come from and whether it should be offered at all (for non-medical purposes) I’m not going there. I’m sure other blogs will and they’ll do it better than I ever would. On that note, I’m off to have a nice cup of calming Horlicks.
- The answer to this question is actually, very, very hard.
All images: freedigitalphotos.net