What Would Aliens Say If They Landed At The Gym?

Well, the scales have moved downwards again – not by much, but I go by the weight loss belief that any loss takes you in the right direction so I’m doing a little happy dance around the room today.

drawing of alien figures

In an attempt to keep this up, I’m off to the gym in a minute. Not surprisingly, I’ve spent a fair amount of time there in the last couple of weeks – and the other day as I walked in there and looked at everyone I couldn’t help but think what aliens would say if they landed here.

We’re pushing weights that don’t lift anything, running on machines that take us nowhere, balancing on great big bouncy balls – and most people look really bored.

Honestly, if ET landed in a Fitness First he’d ring home and say ‘don’t bother bringing the mind rays, they’re all doolally already’.

Alien invasion is not the only thing I ponder at the gym however so I figured today I’d share some of the most common fitness musings…….

1) How come the thinnest girls also seem to be the ones putting in the least effort? They’re there on the bike texting away with not a hair out of place or a bead of sweat and they’re tiny. This is the definition of not fair in my book.

2) Why do all the men on the lat pulldown machine lean right back as they pull? Yes, I know this means you can lift 70kg, but you’re doing with momentum, not muscles. The little stick figure is upright, so should you be.

3) Why is it the days you don’t want to go to the gym are the ones you end up knocking your workout out of the park?

4) What does that machine that looks kind of like a Stairmaster, but goes out the side – actually do? It’s a tiny little motion and I burn all of about 12 calories on it.

5) How loud are my trainers squeaking? Actually, I try not to dwell on this one too much. It’s up there with ‘how many people have touched this machine before me’ and ‘I wonder how bad my knicker line is in these shorts’ as ‘don’t go there or you may never come back’ topics.

So, what goes through your head while you workout? Or can you shed any light on my own musings? Don’t keep it to yourself – there’s a lovely empty comment box below….

Image: freedigitalphotos.net

3 thoughts on “What Would Aliens Say If They Landed At The Gym?”

  1. I was going round an art gallery in NYC with very very squeaky flip flops. It was quite embarrassing!!

    My gym musings are pretty much all internally focussed – “will anyone notice that I’ve only done x mins on this machine and think I’m rubbish” or “is everyone noticing how out of breath I am after x mins” but I am also often amazed at how long people can keep going on one machine! An hour on the treadmill at the same pace? I’m bored after x minutes!!

  2. Hahaha I am the one who stays on the treadmill for at least an hour, at the same pace – and thinking “please don’t let anyone ‘inform’ me of the 20 min time limit”. Some days I picture myself walking up to someone (anyone) at gym and just follow that person around doing the exact same thing as he/she is doing and see how long it will take that person to notice or get annoyed, that can’t be normal. But mostly I’m not actually thinking that much about anything. The people at gym that annoy me are the giggling girls strutting their stuff around the guys lifting weights. Why come to gym if all you are going to do is stand around and giggle? I don’t think that counts as a workout.


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